Red flags your dating a loser
Some things are a flat out code red and I have marked it with FOCR.
Addicted to something (FOCR) – If you meet someone and they are addicted to something (gambling, sex, alcohol, drugs, etc) and not aware of it and doing something about it, this will impact on your life greatly if you continue.
If you’re emotionally invested, or think you’re in a relationship, it’s code red.
Nasty and spiteful – Mean spirited people don’t stop being so in a relationship and may attack your self esteem by latching on to what they think are flaws in you.
Anger and aggression (FOCR) – If they have trouble keeping their anger in check or are physically aggressive, or very intimidating when they want their own way, this is an abort mission.
They play victim (FOCR) – Be careful of anybody that refuses to take any responsibility for their life and blames it on others – Be extra careful of people who when they experience a problem, don’t see their part in it. Not over the ex – (FOCR) – If they say they’re not over their ex, are recently broken up and hurting, are excessively angry with them (i.e not neutral), are hooking up with them, secretly trying to get back together with them, playing you off against each other, whatever – bow out. Controlling – Steer clear of anyone that wants to control you.
Bulk of communication by text and email etc – These lazy forms of communication are code amber.They’re an assclown – There’s ten very key signs that you’re with someone who means you and the relationship no good.People who act with love, care, trust, and respect don’t do stuff like pressing the Reset Button, the Outrageous Principle, sneakily changing the goalposts of the relationship, the Dripfeed Manouver and telling lies/misrepresenting themselves. If you’re experiencing more than one of these ‘issues’, that’s a code red, especially if you have only recently become involved with them.Problems with past/childhood – Pasts can be overcome (I have) but if there are issues from their past that impact on their ability to healthily engage, it’s code amber if they’re prepared to go to and stick to therapy, and code red if they’re not prepared to, deny, or play it down, or it’s coupled with other code red and code amber behaviour.Dodgy attitude towards sex – This is about very different sexual values.